Breakup Stages of Anxious Attachment: What Happens After Love Ends

Breakups are always hard. But if your attachment style is anxious, they can feel like the end of the world. Those with this style experience profound physical anxiety at the termination of love. For they frequently ask, “Why did this happen to me?” They feel lost, and sad, and confused. These aren’t merely passing feelings. They arrive in neat anxious attachment breakup stages. These are real stages, and they are excruciating and difficult to bear. You will discover what these breakup phases are going to look like. You will see some of how anxious attachment arises and how you can begin to heal. We will analyze every clause in plain language. You don’t have to be a physician to get it. We will go step by step. This guide is for anyone who has ever felt heartbroken or anxious or really, really sad after love is over.

Most people don’t understand why breakups hurt so much. If you’re always afraid in love or you can’t stop obsessing about your ex, you might have anxious attachment. Don’t worry you’re not alone. These types of attachment are really popular. The anxious attachment breakup stages are the beginning of the journey back to you. The best place to begin may be right at the beginning, to figure out what it all means.

What Is Anxious Attachment in Relationships?

“Anxious attachment” is how some people love. It means you fear being left. You want to love deeply and be loved in return, but can tend to get a little unsure about whether your partner loves you in return. You need a lot of closeness. Even once you have it, you may not feel safe. That’s what’s so difficult.

Those with anxious attachment think on a constant loop, “Will they leave me?” or “Am I not enough?” These thoughts don’t stop. Nice though their partner may be, they worry. That fear accumulates over time, and what is a small argument can feel massive. A breakup feels like your entire world just broke. That is why the anxious attachment breakup stages seem so very painful and intense.

That attachment style is an inheritance from how we were treated when we were little. If we didn’t receive love consistently, or if people were hot and cold with us, we learned to fear being abandoned. As adults, we carry that fear in every relationship now.It is important to understand this: Anxious attachment doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. It only means that your heart is frightened. And that fear makes breakups ten times more devastating. You may cry more. You might be texting your ex too much. Maybe you feel like this makes no sense. All these are the anxious attachment breakup stages.

Once we get a grip on these stages, we can begin to heal. You don’t have to remain in pain. Let’s see how this goes.

How Does Anxious Attachment Start?

Anxious attachment is born early on. Usually it starts in childhood. As a child, your mom or dad might not have loved you enough for you. At times, they hugged you, and at other times they didn’t. It could be they were occupied, or they screamed, or they took off. Your little heart got scared. It didn’t know what love was supposed to look like. That fear stayed with you.

Your whole life you just wanted love. But with someone, it felt you felt nervous. You didn’t want to lose them. That’s how anxious attachment develops. It’s almost like a seed that grows into a big tree of fear and worry.

When that love shatters, as in a breakup, the pain can be enormous. Your body might shake. You could lose your appetite or stop sleeping. Your heart is breaking into a million pieces. This is the anxiety strain, and fits the common anxious attachment breakup stages.

It is not just the breakup. It’s the fear deep inside of you. It says, “I’m not lovable. I’ll be alone forever.” It’s loud and strong. But it’s not the truth. You can learn to change it. First, we have to know the signs.

Signs and Symptoms of Anxious Attachment

When your partner doesn’t call or text, are you scared? Do you always assume they will disappear? These are anxious attachment signs. And if you break up, the signs are even grimmer.

Here are some clear signs:

• And you keep texting your ex
• You cry all day after the breakup
• You feel sick or can’t eat
• You beg to get back together
• You blame yourself fully
• You believe you can never be happy again.

These aren’t regular breakup feelings. These stages belong to the anxious attachment breakup. You can also get headaches, chest pain, or stomachaches. Your brain starts freaking out. It’s something I’ve heard psychologists describe as mental breakdown strain you suffer in your mind and you suffer in your body.

It is difficult to let go with anxious attachment. Even if the relationship was no good, you still want it back. You’re convinced you can’t live without them. Your self-worth drops fast. It’s a very uncomfortable place to be.

But it’s helpful to be aware of these signs. Once you’ve become aware of what’s going on, you can begin to make small adjustments. You can start to nurture your heart.

Now, onto the actual anxious attachment breakup stages. What are they? Why do they hurt so much? One by one, let’s dissect them.

Breakup Stages of Anxious Attachment: What Really Happens

Not all breakups are created equal. If you have anxious attachment, the stages of a breakup are deeper and longer. 

You don’t just feel sad. You feel broken. It’s like something of you is dead. These are the anxious attachment breakup stages, the stages you must pass through if you are ever to overcome your anxiety about being in a state of separation.

Here’s what happens:

• You panic. Your heart races. You are blowing up your ex’s phone or inbox. You cry a lot. You can’t sleep or eat.
• You reject it – You think it’s not the end. You tell yourself they will return. You make plans to fix things.
• You call yourself names – You say, “Everything that is bad is because of me. You scrutinize every mistake you made. You feel guilt and shame.
• You ache — you miss them more every single day. Even the terrible moments are preferable to being alone.
• You go numb – You feel nothing. You stop talking to friends. You stay in bed. You feel empty.

These are the stages. Each one hurts. Each one feels like forever. And here’s the good news: They will pass. You will heal. It’s not a quick process, but it’s possible.

You’re not stuck for eternity in these anxious attachment breakup stages.

Final Thoughts on Anxious Attachment Breakup Stages

Breaking up is hard for everybody, but it’s even tougher when you have anxious attachment. You’re not just sad  you’re lost, scared, profoundly hurt.

This is the kind of grief that moves through your body and mind. You may not be able to sleep, lose your appetite or cry nonstop. That’s what we mean by mental breakdown strain. It’s when your feelings are too big, and your brain can’t sustain them.

These are some of the feelings in the anxious attachment breakup stages. You might experience shock, denial, guilt and emptiness. It is like a storm in your heart.But because the strongest storm will one day stop.

• You are not broken. You are learning. You are healing. These phases will not be permanent.
• Take it slow. Breathe. Talk to someone. Write your feelings down. Rest your heart.
• Love will come to you again and next time, it could be even better.